Can't hold my tongue anymore...

Ok, the folks who knows me best knows I rarely discuss religion or politics in public forums. I don't hide that I'm a Christian and when asked directly I will answer any question about my religious or political views.  I just don't get on those soap boxes often. I have enough other soap boxes I wear out. ;)

But with the recent Facebook posts, the media, and everything hitting the Internet as a result of the murder of the children and teachers in Conn, I'm finding it hard to hold my tongue anymore.  So in true Lisa-Logic fashion, here's all the things I wish I had the guts to say/post to the FB status, shares, etc.

1) God didn't cause this terrible event. God didn't decide on Friday morning that he wanted 20 innocent children to "come home". I have no doubt that He welcomed those teachers and children into His loving arms, comforted them and gave them peace. But He didn't cause this. He didn't plan this. This isn't part of some "Great Plan" of God. This event was Pure Evil and God doesn't work with Evil.

2) We can't understand why this happened. We can ask and question; Lord knows I have.  I have sit right at this computer reading the news feed, crying and asking "Why?  Why did these children have to die like this? The poor children who survived, why do they now have to live with this memory?" But you know what folks, we will never know! We aren't supposed to understand and frankly, I can't begin to figure it out because my mind doesn't work like an person who would DECIDE to pick up a gun and walk into a Kindergarten class room and open fire!  So frankly, I am glad I don't understand because I don't want to have those thoughts. I don't want to understand why or how a person could do that!

3) Guns...OMG I would love to just say "STFU" sometimes!  I don't own a gun, I don't have a gun in our home. Not because I'm against them, I CHOOSE not to own a gun, for 2 reasons.  The first is I'm not 100%  sure that if I had a gun in hand and faced with the situation where I have to decide to use it, if I could. I believe if you can't pull the trigger, you shouldn't have a gun "for protection" because the other person will just take it away from you and use it against you.  The second reason is I have decided as a Adult that I like living within the city limits, and I trust and respect the local law enforcement to respond quickly and effectively to my calls for help.  I thank God that I have not had to call on the police, fire, EMTs for help, but if I need them, I trust that the people trained to protect and take care of me will be there.  But back to the issue at hand, IF I wanted to own a gun, that's my right and IF I wanted to have a gun in my home, that's my choice.  But GUESS what?!? It doesn't matter!  I can own one gun or a hundred guns. I could have semi-automatics or the single shot loader thingies, and it still won't matter....I'm not the one you have to worry about and taking away my right to own or have a gun, will not prevent 20 children being murdered in their Kindergarten classroom.  Because just like my dad used to say "Locks keep the honest people out"...Gun control keeps the HONEST people in check.  The dishonest ones, the mentally ill, the ones who want a gun to do evil, WILL still get a gun. They will lie, steal, cheat, and we can't stop them because they are evil!   All "more gun control" would do is make it so that farmers, the hunters, my family who lives in the country who doesn't have police who are 5 minutes away, are left unprotected. Those of you yelling for "more gun control", you need to realize a gun in the right hands is no more dangerous than a car.  A car can run over a child crossing the street. A car can hit a school bus and kill or harm 60 children.  It all depends on WHO's behind the wheel of the car.  A gun depends on WHO's finger is on the trigger!

4) "Let's arm the teachers"...."let's put guns in the teacher's hands so they can defeat their classroom", SERIOUSLY PEOPLE??? Are you that insane?!?  You have a teacher who is underpaid, under-appreciated and WAY overworked, who has a passion for teaching. Trust me I know this, you do not teach for the money, you do not teach for the benefits, because they suck! I have taught off and on for 14 years, and you teach because you have a PASSION for the job. You want to teach those students, children or adults, you want to see them learn and move out of your class not because you want to "get rid of them" but because it means you have done your job.  But you can't see everything, a normal public school class these days is anywhere for 20-30 students, you can't watch and see every thing going on. You try, but it's not humanly possible. For a gun to be effective to "protect" it has to be accessible, why do you think a police officer wears a gun on his belt? Because he can access it.  If it is locked securely in a gun safe, is he going to be able to do his job? If a robber is holding me at gun point and I call the police, I don't want him to try to remember the combination of his gun safe! I want him to reach for his gun on his belt and shot the sucker!  Well, let's think about this...you put a gun in the class room, you train the teacher....Ok, yay, we have an armed teacher...now what?  She either puts the gun in a gun safe so that the Kindergarteners can't get it out and "what does this do?" and kill her or someone else...or she keeps it out where she can access it and we see reports accidental shootings happening in our schools.  I'm sorry, losing a child to an "accident" because a gun on the teacher's belt misfires when the teacher leans over the desk to show a child how to correctly make a cursive G is not something I want to hear about on the news.  Accident happens with guns, even with trained people with guns....A teacher has enough to worry about with her students, don't add a loaded gun in the classroom to "protect" to her worries.

5) Prayer in school....Do you seriously believe prayer isn't in school?  Ok, so I can't honestly say I ever sit in a class room and had the teacher lead a prayer during class.  No, it didn't happen.  But I can promise you, that prayer did most definitely happened in my classes!  I prayed that the teacher won't notice me passing the note to Beverly in 3rd grade, I prayed that the teacher won't ask for the homework I forgot and left in my locker, I prayed that the boy I liked would notice me, I prayed the boy I didn't like won't notice me. I prayed I would know the answers to the test I didn't study for, or that I wouldn't forget what I was suppose to say during the oral report.  I prayed Mrs. Taylor won't call on me in Latin or that Mr. Swift would give us study time so I could finish my biology homework before next period.  It's not a question of taking prayers out of school or putting it back in, it's a question of teaching our children to have faith. PERIOD.  I prayed because I believed in the power of it.  Had I not learned AT HOME to pray and been taught that it was an option, I won't have done it.  You know what?! Shocker here!... It's not the freaking school's job to teach YOUR children to pray or not to pray and frankly, "no prayer in school" doesn't mean YOUR child can't pray.  

Ok, I think I hit all the high points.  I really don't care if anyone reads this or not. But it feels good to get it out there and off my chest.  Oh and Yes, Police and Teachers can be both male or female. I'm not sexist...just easier for my mind to write the protector/Police as male and the sweet/teacher as female.  But I have see excellent Police women and wonderful male teachers.  Anyway..go back to your soap box now...I'm done.

Ok, Really?

Ok, so it's really October?  Not even the beginning of October...we are over the half way mark...seriously? This year has gone way too fast!!!

Ok, so what's up with me?  This will be a catch up post, like the last one was as well...but then I PROMISE I will start doing some real blog posts again. Maybe I'll add it to my calendar as an appointment and then maybe it will get done :)

Ok, so Jacob is back in school, doing awesome! He's in 3rd grade and signed up for "Math Masters". That child is so much like my Dad was, if there's a number involved he's all over it!  Kalissa, his big sister is the complete opposite!  For her, if it's a story, she's got it covered.  English and Languages are her thing.  She's currently taking both French II and German I.  She says she likes German better than French, but still loves the French teacher. Will be interesting to see what she decides to do next year, rather she will stick out another year of French just because she likes the teacher or move on and just do German.  She's already talking about a German exchange student and going to German as part of that program!  I swear we need a bigger house!  That girl will have her passport full of stamps before she graduates school if she has her way!  But I love that she is getting opportunities that I never got growing up.

I started a business Carried Away Consignment kinda on a bit of a whim and also out of necessary.  Finances are tight with only one income and the kids doing so many activities, plus I just don't do well without a job. I like being busy and I like having some spare cash to go to lunch if I want or such.  Christmas is looking dull on just our budget so I'm hoping this helps brightens the Christmas lights so to speak. :)  Carried Away Consignment is for people who has clutter and "garage sale" items around their home that they want to sell, they would like a little more out of it than just a tax write-off if they donate it, but they just don't have the time, interest or desire to sell it on E-bay or FB or even to have a garage sale.  I take the items, take pictures, write up a description, sell them item, deliver/ship it, collect the money and then take just a small commission for the sale.  Started this Sept 21st (easy day to remember since I started it on my 40th birthday :P) and so far, I have sold over $400 worth of items.  Not bad in less than a month!    Yesterday, I met with my first "real" customer, aka not someone I knew before I started this business, and so I feel like I'm really in business now!  Which also means I need to get off this blog page and get to work! :)

More to come...I promise to blog again soon. :)

Back...Aug Already?

Haven't done so well at blogging this year! It has been a busy summer with Kalissa's trip to Peru, South America, then Marching Band.  Ok, so for all those of you who remember Marching Band like I remember Marching Band, Noblesville Marching Millers is TOTALLY different!  I wasn't in band, but my friend was, and I recall her doing a week or maybe 2 weeks of "band camp" in the summer, then a lot of practice and contests in the fall.  Well, that was "track band" I'm learning.  Noblesville does "Show Band", which means all their contests are in the summer months, in fact State Fair Band Day is the big contest, which was this past Friday.  so from June-Aug, the summer band students had 2 days off, plus contests every weekend in July.  When K signed up, I found out we sold our souls to the Marching Band demon for the entire summer!

But now, the Marching Band competed, and earned 9th overall at the State Fair, out of 46 schools.  Very good job and I'm so proud of Kalissa and all these kids, for the hours of work they put in.  Now we have about 10 days before school starts. Seems hard for me to believe since it seems we haven't had a summer really for our family.

Just a few things that shock me today as I write this....
* Jacob is going to be a 3rd grader?!?! Seems like yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital, scheduling home nurse care visits, worrying he wasn't getting enough breast milk, and thinking he's too little and thanking God that he was home and alive.  (If you missed it, he was born premature at 33 weeks.)
* Kalissa is a Freshmen!!!! I now have a child who is in High School, how did that happen?  I remember bring her home from the hospital as well, but I can believe she's older, just not a High Schooler yet.  She keeps reminding us that she'll be driving soon, and then it's senior, college, marriage....OMG I'm so not ready for her to grow up like this.
* I'm going to turn 40....in about 6 weeks.  I'm not worried about turning 40, I'm not bothered by the number. I don't feel old at all....I'm at middle age maybe, but still that's a big number and part of me feels a bit shocked that I'm about to leave the 30s behind.

With those thoughts I'm left wondering what to do in 10 days when the kids return to school. I'm not homeschooling this year, it was nice, but Jacob learned some bad habits and I don't want those to continue.  I want him back in school.  But that means I'll have 8 hrs a day of time...what to do with it?  I have decided not to return to teaching, because it will cause the same thing I wanted to get away from...too much time away from my kids and not being flexible enough for their schedule needs.  I started Parties By Proxie, but the business isn't taking off like I had hoped.  I'm struggling to know how to market it effectively.  I could find a part time job that would allow better flexibility, but honestly, I don't want to work outside the home unless it's for the PxP business.  So how can I make some money, market my business, still have flexibility for my kids schedules and needs, and not go stir crazy from not working?  Suggestions? Thoughts?

Daddy...

I think about Dad a lot these days, I'm not sure the reason for that. It's been almost 9 years since his death.  Maybe it's because a high school friend lost her dad recently, that I'm thinking of Dad. I miss him as if it was yesterday, but yet at the same time, I think back to those last months and I am glad I didn't have to watch him suffer.

I'm so thankful for the upbringing and lessons he taught me, the values he instilled in me.  I'm mostly thankful for the huge, caring heart he had and passed on to his children. Dad helped people. I remember Dad going out of his way to help children on the school bus, my friends, our neighbors, who ever it was.  I guess that's on my mind recently because of our crazy household at the moment.

I also thinking about Dad because of the lessons he taught. It wasn't the math problems he helped with or how to drive a stick shift, which I never got the hang of.  It was the example of how to treat people fairly, how to give an honest day's work for a honest wage, and how to make your name mean something.

I remember my sister and I back when in school, we used to talk about the fact that our identify wasn't determined it felt by who we were or what he had done around FR, but rather everyone knew us as "Joe's daughters".  The topic came up again when Dad passed away and we were sitting around the house remembering and talking about things, and Mom even commented that few people in FR knew her, and even the ones who recognized her, didn't know her name. She was simply "Joe's wife".  Dad was well known in our community. I think of our society and who we consider "well known" in our community.  People can be "well-known" for a lot of reason, but it's the great ones that are well-known for their character. I'm so proud to be "Joe's Daughter" because I know that title means I'm the product of a well-respected man, a man of good character, as the Bible would say.

I hope when my children sit someday and reflects over my life, they can say the same about their mother as I can say about my dad. That I taught them the good lessons of life, the values and morals. The character that they have is the some traits that were passed down from my dad.  I love you, Daddy. If tears were stairs, I would have visited you in heavens many times over.

I'm here...just been busy

Let's see, Mom came to visit for 10 days. I love having my mom here. I enjoy just being able to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and conversation with her.  We took her home Tue, so now it's just us back at home. 

This visit from my mom was different than the past visits. I think it had a lot to do with me not juggling work and home while she was here. I was home, doing homeschooling, spent a couple days being sick with a flu/cold, and never had to leave for work...being at home makes such a difference some times.  I miss the paychecks from working, but I have to say I am liking the relaxed schedule and busyness of a different style.

David came home with a cold/flu version and lucky me he passed it on.  The kids didn't get it, nor did Mom, so I am very happy about that.  On the other hand, I spent a couple days not doing much more than laying on the couch.

Let's see recently...I worked with my sister and made 10 sets of knitting markers to sell...finished reading a book, been helping a friend with his life plan to get back in college, said a lot of prayers for various situations, had a board meeting for GFH, and spend a morning visiting with my friend to get some plans for her Derby party.

I feel like I have so many projects going on, and no organization to get them done, so that's my goal for the rest of this week...to make some notes on projects, organize some thoughts, and feel I have some control of them.

wish me luck.

Snow and Math...not a match made in heaven

Today it snowed all day and I loved it!  I had no where to go, no where to go tomorrow either, so let it snow! It was also the first time in a long time that I wasn't immediately faced with the thoughts of "Are there going to be a snow delay or school closing? If so, who will watch the kids? Do I need to juggle someone to watch the kiddo?"  I love that I did not have to juggle or worry about that. I know I can be home if they have a delay or a closing! Yay for being a stay-at-home Mom, even if it seems I'm never home. :)  K did pray at the supper table for a snow delay or closing.

Now on the other hand, Math...the current thorn in my side!  Mr. J has always been good at math, always loved it. He is still good at math, but for some reason he has decided he doesn't want to do math without being so slow!  I let him get behind before Christmas, my major mistake.  Now he has 6 lessons he needs to do before tomorrow night to be on schedule. He's on schedule with everything else!  He gets no TV, no Wii, no playing with the neighbor kids, nothing until his Math is caught up....and it's still like pulling teeth to get him to work on his math.

UGH! Friday is a light homeschool day for us. The schedule is built that way, which I appreciate. So tomorrow is going to be very heavy on Math...and hopefully by the end of the day, he will be caught up.  If not, I might just have to buy a wig because I will have pulled my hair out!!!

A New Week...

Today was the first real day we did homeschooling since the holidays.  Big sister went back to school last Thursday and we used those days to finish up some stuff we didn't finish before the holidays, so today we started our new week.  With the new week, Teacher Mom decided to try a few things new as well...

1) We started with a "task list" for the homeschooling day.  I have a schedule I use that came with the materials, that's what keeps us "on schedule", but I have seen that J loves to check off lists. He gets that from his mommy! So together we created a list, and then he decided the order in which we checked the items off.  He knows he can not play until his list is checked off.

2) I added 15 minutes of independent reading to the schedule.  Now this was the best part of the day! Mr. I-Hate-Independent-Reading sit down on the couch with his book, I set a timer, and the timer went off and he kept reading.  He was actively reading, not playing, not goofing off, so I turned the timer off and just let him read.  He read for 30 minutes!  He said he liked the book and is already planning to read it again "at bedtime".  Hopefully, I can get him to enjoy reading! If I achieve that, this entire year will be well spent.  Not that it's not well spent just from spending the time with him.

So, we'll see how he does the rest of the week with these 2 new features to our homeschooling day.

As for me, I weighed myself today, while I refuse to publish numbers...I set the first goal on 12-31 and not only had met it today but had passed it.  I refuse to weigh myself too often, so today was the first time I had checked it since then.  So I have set a new goal, and once I make that one, will set another one, and so on with my weight.

I have also finished 4 books...I kinda knew the goal of reading 52 books in 2012 would be way too easy for me if I started reading again, but I set it because I wasn't reading at all, so this would get me going again.  Hubby and I also had a coupons/shopping trip late Friday night, and we saved over $80 with our coupons.  I have to keep myself in check here, because I can easily see myself turning OCD with the coupons.  But I will say, J made us all laugh Saturday night when David was looking for something in the freezer and I said "oh we are out", and J pipes up with "But we have a coupon for them!".  *smiles*  He has became my little helper, cutting out coupons almost every evening as he watches TV.

Unfortunately, my desk is starting to look like..."my desk" again.  It's NO WHERE near the mess it was, but I can see piles starting to creep back so I will be putting an end to that today!  Otherwise, the office is still not organized/cleaned/sorted/decluttered.  Joy is suppose to come tomorrow so hopefully we will knock that out.  

On other notes...I have to add this in, because it is INSANE!  For some reason, K and I got onto watching "Dance Moms". If you haven't seen this show, I'm not sure if I should say "check it out" or "RUN when it comes on"...it's like a train wreck!  You continue watching not because it's good or you want to see what happens next, but because the parenting is so terrible that you keep watching.  The moms who push their children to compete in these dance competitions...OMG they need the 2X4 attitude adjustment! There is at least one girl who is going to end up with a serious injury! The doctor was on camera telling Mom she shouldn't compete that weekend....and yet there she was!  I swear TV shows like this and "SuperNanny" makes me think you should have to take a test or something to become a parent.

E-100 Challenge - Thoughts on today's reading

So let's see, this year I have finished 2 books already.  But I must say I need to find a better time to read than 1-4am, because I'm seriously lacking sleep these days.  But I can't help it, the authors grab my attention and won't let go!  Someday I hope I can write and someone will say that about my work, but then that would require me to get my novel ideas out of my head and onto "paper". 

I also accepted the E-100 Challenge that our church is doing.  This is reading the essential 100 Bible passages as determined and outlined by someone.  I'm not sure who, but it's a program our church found and are doing together. Last year, they did the 15 for 15, which was suppose to be 15 minutes of reading the bible every day for 15 weeks, and read through the entire bible.  Unfortunately, some days took more than 15 minutes and it was an every day thing and I guess I'm just not necessarily good at an "everyday" thing.  The E-100 is designed to read 5 days a week, so I'm going to attempt to commit to that.  It's good to be back in the bible. I found with my life, I have an easy time praying, easy time talking to the kids about biblical topics as they come up with them, and I have always been willing to discuss biblical topics with friends or even strangers if they initiate the topic, but I find I have a hard time just sitting down with a bible and reading most times. I try to follow along in the bible during Sunday worships, but to just pick up the bible and read...not so much. 

So today, I read about Adam & Eve eating of the forbidden food. Did you notice how fast Adam was to pass the blame? Seriously, the first words out of his mouth is "it's her fault". Then next is Eve "the snake made me do it".  I guess that proves that it's not a learned behavior but ingrained human behavior to blame someone else. Why can't people just accept responsibility for their actions and not immediately have to blame someone else? Is it so hard to say "hey I screwed up. I'm sorry. Can we talk about this and figure out a way to fix it?" Wouldn't that make for a better society?  Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I haven't blamed others or passed the buck in my life. We all have...after all, it's inherited from Adam/Eve as our human nature.  But I'm left wondering, how would the bible and the history of our world be different had Adam and Eve said "Yes, Father, I disobeyed your rules." Or better yet, what would it be like had Eve stood up to the snake and said "God said we can eat and enjoy EVERYTHING else in the garden, why would I risk that just for one bite of a fruit that might taste nasty?"

Hmmm that thought sends my mind off in so many different directions...don't husbands and wives make that choice? I can talk with a co-worker, have lunch in the break room at the same table, but why risk a good thing in my marriage to cross a line?  A child just getting to the age of independence...I can tell my mom/dad I'm going to a friend's house and instead go to that party they told me I wasn't allowed to go, but why risk the trust they have in me now?  A person handling money or supplies at work...I can ring it in that the distracted mom with the screaming toddler gave me a $10 instead of a $20 and pocket the other $10. She's so distracted she would never notice (been there!), but why risk the job I have for an extra $10?

Hmmm, food for thought...What risks am I talking with my life and choices and is it worth the price?