Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Rambling of a Runner-Wannabe

Running is hard.  It doesn't seem like it should be.  Put on a pair of running shoes, lace them up, and put your feet to the pavement. What's so hard about that?  Really, I mean, one foot in front of the other: it's like walking only faster (you hope)!

There's a lot more to running...Your calves hurt faster when you're starting out running. Your lungs scream because you're not breathing in and out properly.  Your entire body says "Hey, what do you think you're doing??? We were just fine walking; what's this other crap you're doing now???"  Oh and then if you're female and carrying extra tummy weight then there's also the extra bouncing...the boobs bounce, the stomach bounce, and I didn't look but I'm sure my butt and thighs had extra bounce in them too.  All of those things happen, but you keep running/walking through them, and pray no one is looking out their windows as you run down the street.

By the way, running is only pretty once you can run. I'm pretty sure a beginner runner looks like the childhood toys Webble.  (You remember those, "Webbles wobble, but they don't fall down".) Only with beginner runners, they wobble and the neighbors wonder if they are going to fall down!

Running is also getting past the fear.  I didn't realize this until today.  Running is about not letting the fear of "can I do this?" win.  Running is about telling yourself that "Yes, there's limitations of what my body can do today, but those limitations aren't going to win." and it's about telling yourself that those limitations are going to be kicked to the sidewalk, because you're going to keep getting faster, stronger, and more able to run.   It's the fear that makes me want to say "I suck at running" and start looking at other ways to get fit.  But running isn't about the fear, it's about leaving the fear behind us.  I remember a movie, I think it was "What Women Want" but I am not 100% sure that's the right movie, but in the movie, the man is designing an ad campaign I think for running shoes, and he listens in on the woman's thoughts, and comes up with the perfect campaign, because for the woman, running was about feet hitting the pavement, the alone time, the complete control, the freedom...

Maybe I'm romancing running. Maybe for you running is just putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe you never thought about fear of failing to run, you just do it.  But for me today, I needed the pep talk.  I sucked at running today, but today was just one day.  My daughter's first time playing the clarinet sounded like she was calling to the geese on the pond.  My first time cooking a meal for my inlaws ended with my father-in-law and husband playing hockey with the the hard discs that were supposed to be biscuits.

So this morning I tried to run, and felt like I failed, but you know what I did...I drank some water, I chatted with a friend. I listened to his pep talk, then I went back outside and I didn't worry about anything but putting one foot in front of the other and I ran.  I'm sure it was not any prettier the 2nd time around, but I ran. I am not breaking any records, I'm not someone to watch...but I ran.

I think I actually like running. I think I like the feet hitting the pavement, the control, the freedom.  But I think it will be a while before I don't suck at it.