Really?! You Can't See That?

It's big, yellow and has enough seats for between 60-72 children, plus the driver, and you can't see it? Really?!

Yeah, it's time for Lisa's rant about people, aka drivers, and school buses.  This is a rant that is near and dear to my heart, because my Dad was a school bus driver for about 30 years. My brother and sister-in-law carried on the tradition and still drive school buses now, well over an additional 10 yrs...so our family has easily a 40+ yr School Bus Driver history!

Ok, so here's what set me off today, and made me decide to write....We see bumper stickers, signs, FB posts, billboards, etc, reminding us drivers to "watch out for motorcycles", and I'm not knocking that AT ALL!  Motorcycle riders have a spot on the road and we should give them the space and watch for them as much as we can. I have friends who are drive donorcycles, I mean motorcycles, and I want them to stay safe and be around for a long, long time!  I also pray that my friends who drive motorcycles have more brains that some!

So yesterday, near where we live, a motorcyclist apparently hit a school bus and was killed.  I followed the story, because as I said, School Buses are dear to my heart.  This cyclist apparently was weaving in and out of traffic and rear-ended a school bus that was empty.  Sorry, cyclist...I hate that you lost your life, but really?  You failed to see a School Bus?  The news reported that the school bus had stopped and was making a turn, and proper signals & lights were working.  It's BIG, it's Yellow, and it's kinda hard to miss?! I would think!

Anyway, so that's kinda sad, the cyclist lost his life, a family lost a loved one, and I pray for them.  The driver and witnesses have the memory and I am sorry for that as well.  I'm personally glad there was no children on the bus to witness it.  

So let's get on to the rest of my rant, because I have a BIG one regarding school buses and drivers.  Let's go over some facts!

*** School buses carry children, ages 5 - 18 roughly, CHILDREN!!! Do I need to repeat it again, CHILDREN...aka possibly MY CHILDREN!  That means Slow the heck down!!!!  When you see a school bus, you should take your freaking foot off the gas, cover or apply the break, and slow your death machine vehicle down to a freaking crawl!  I should be able to run faster than you are driving when you approach a school bus, especially if it's in a subdivision or along a residential street where there are children who are getting on or off that school bus!  

*** School buses stop often.  They can't really slow down and open the door and toss the kids out, they have to STOP in order for the children to get on and off the bus.  You being impatient behind them, don't make them stop less.  You being impatient behind them, don't make the kids walk any faster.  So just roll down your window, put on some smoothing music and chill out!  You will still get to where ever you are going, and if you're that late, maybe you should have left 10 minutes earlier next time...just a suggestion!

*** School buses have these things called a STOP ARM.  It's a STOP sign that comes out from the side of the bus. Some buses even have 2 so you can see them better. They are also attached to lights that flicker when a bus is approaching a stop.  Once the lights start to flicker and the arm BEGINS to come out, YOU CAN NOT PASS THAT BUS!  I don't care if you are late for the most important meeting of your career. I don't care if you're late to your own wedding, divorce, court appearance, funeral. ONCE THAT ARM BEGINS TO COME OUT, you STOP!  That doesn't mean slow down and go pass really slowly. That doesn't mean gun the car so you get pass the bus before the arm is fully extended. It means STOP the vehicle!

*** School bus drivers deserve respect, so treat them as such.  I know parents who can't drive 15 minutes without putting a video in the car to entertain their children.  A school bus driver drives a HUGE bus with 60-72 children, all making noise, talking, asking questions, singing, etc, while still watching the road and trying to keep the bus safe and watch out for drivers who can't always remember these simple facts.  Now, I will make a disclaimer, I have heard stories of things bus drivers have done that would not deserve respect, so I know there are bad apples out there.  There are always bad apples. But if you're a driver behind a school bus, try to at least give them the respect on the road and assume they are a Good one! :)

As the school year comes to an end, that means when the kids step off that bus, they are going to be ready to run and enjoy the sunshine, so PLEASE be careful!  Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing a child got hit by a car, nothing sends me into a panic more than hearing a school bus was involved in an accident, and nothing would rock my world more than hearing that one of my children was hurt while on a bus or getting on/off at the bus stop. So please SLOW DOWN, PAY ATTENTION, and KEEP THE KIDS SAFE!!!

because it's BIG...Yellow...carries lots of people...You really can't see that?!?!  

Ever wonder if your neighbors are dead?

Have you ever wondered if your neighbors are dead?  Over the last week, I have started to wonder.  You see we moved into our new house in June, met them once briefly where oddly enough I don't think they even offered their names.  We learned the very basic info...husband, wife, newborn son and dog, moved in about a month before we did.  We would see them let their dog out the back and wave, but they didn't talk even when we say hello, so I didn't push it.  The only real "conversation" if you call it that, was when she came out and told my husband politely that he had mowed too far over into their yard and to please not mow their yard anymore...*yeah, ummm ok*

So then the first snow fall came, and I noticed that there were no dog tracks.  Didn't think much of it, figure OK they got rid of their dog.  Newborn child, I can see the dog and baby having issues, maybe the baby was allergic, I'm not going to judge because we had to give away a dog for allergic reasons.  Then the next snow fall, and I noticed that they were no tracks in the driveway for days.  I thought 'wow, someone else who avoids going outside when it's cold' because anyone who knows me knows I can find all kinds of ways to stay home and not go out when it's cold.  Not that I can't drive on snow or ice or that I don't have layers to wear. I just don't like being cold.

So since Christmas we have had snow on the ground pretty much constantly, and since Christmas, I have seen tracks in their drive way, but they don't shovel.  *Shrugs Ok, I hate to shovel, I do it because I feel like it's required of me and because I have people come to my house sometimes, but if I thought I could get away with never shoveling...Yeah I might try that.*  But the kicker has been the last 2 weeks, they haven't set their trash or recycling out.  I don't know about you, but when I had a newborn, I had trash.  Dirty diapers, formula cans, milk jars, wrappers off my food items, etc.  Plus we have never seen lights on in their house, maybe it's the angle that their house sets to ours, but we would think we would see a glow of lights in the back, but never.  So now I'm starting to wonder if they are dead.  I guess the fact that I see tracks in the driveway means someone's alive, right?  I just never see them come or go, but then I don't spy on them 24-7.

So anyway, the point of this blog, other than to tell you the coming and goings of my neighbors, is what happened with greeting people? Saying Hi, waving, going and introducing yourself when someone new moves in?  What happened to seeing each other in the back yard when dogs are taking care of business or kids playing, and stopping to say "hey, how are you settling in?" or just making small talk?

Here's a kicker, what happened to the teenager kids/boys who used to knock on our door and ask if they can shovel your driveway for like $15-20?  I remember it being $10 once, but now I think it's at least $20.  Either way, what happened to that?  What happened to the neighbor with the 4-wheeler with a plow blade on the front coming over and helping to clear your drive way when you're out there with shovels killing your back?  Yeah, I admit I am jones-ing his 4-wheeler and have considered walking over and asking if I could pay him to finish our drive way, but since he's the non-dead neighbor who doesn't even say hi when you wave or say hi to him, I figure he would just ignore me.

Is hospitality and friendliness gone? Did automatic garage door openers kill communities?  Think about it!  We got automatic garage door openers in our car, we drive up, open the door, park inside...go in the house and don't come out until the garage door opens, we back out, drive off closing the garage door as we leave.  Before automatic garage door openers, people had to get out of their car and open the garage door themselves, and the neighbor could wave and say hi...or they parked outside and the neighbor could still wave.

Oh and by the way, the neighbor's trash can still have snow on them, so they aren't even putting their trash outside.  I guess if they are dead and going to come back as zombies come spring, we'll know.

Enough Lisa Logic, bedtime...night JohnBoy & MaryEllen!

Let's talk about allowance...

I don't actually remember my parents giving me allowance when I was younger.  Maybe they did, but I just don't remember it.  I remember going to the store with my Dad (and Mom, but mostly Dad unless it's school clothes shopping) and asking for a Candy bar, a toy or something and he would buy it, tell me to "put it on my birthday/Christmas list", or just say "no".  When I got old enough to work on the farm, I was paid as a farm hand the same as the guys he hired for summer help.  I also babysit and started my first job when I was 15 working for someone else, so I didn't rely on just allowance to have money for things I wanted to do.  While I don't remember an allowance, I do remember going to the movies with friends, basketball games, and school activities where Dad would make sure I had money before I left the house.  Even after I started working, I remember Dad asking "do you need any money?"

So allowance in the Brown's home has been an on/off, up/down struggle.  It started with Kalissa was about 6 and we did the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace and decided we needed to start teaching her about money.  We put "commission" in the budget, because we didn't want the kids to think they get money just for being alive. They need to earn their money just like the real world, no one says to a 25 yr old "oh you're cute, so you go play your video games or sleep until noon and here's $$$ to buy a new toy while I do your laundry, clean your home and buy and cook your food, oh and don't forget provide a room for you to sleep in, a vehicle to take you places, and pay for all your sports, schooling and other activities you want to do..."  We decided the "rate" would be $0.50 per year of age and that we would deduct money each week for chores not completed or bad behavior. We would "pay" them every Saturday evening and we provided them with 3 envelopes - Spending, Savings, & Charity.  They had to put at least so much into Charity each week (we set the amount depending on how much they were earning), then they could decide how much went into the other 2 envelopes, but some had to go into both.

Great plan, isn't it?  Too bad the parents in the plan failed!  Sometimes we forgot to pay them on Saturday night because we were doing something else and wasn't home. Sometimes we forgot to make it to the bank and didn't have cash. Sometimes finances were tight for us, so we said commission was "on hold" and they wasn't paid because that money was needed for things like food, school expenses, etc.

And then there was the challenges to the plan...you're at the store and the child wants a new toy or a cookie, they "need" this sparkly pencil that is double the price of the plain yellow one beside it.  Their best friend has this new "XYZ" and they just have to have it...and you say "do you have your money?"  and you hear all the excuses..."I left it at home?", "I didn't know we were going shopping after church?", "You haven't paid me this week?", "I'll pay you when I get home?"....the list could go on...but I think my favorite is "I have some of it, would you buy it and then take it out of my allowance for next week(month/year depending on cost) PLEASE"  normally followed by please and puppy dog eyes in the middle of a crowded store with what seems like the entire town standing around waiting for you to move out of the way!

Then there's the follow up...you get home and they forget to bring you the money they had to settle the IOU, or the next PayDay comes and you forget they owe you $5 so you just give them the full amount.  You get busy with your life and by time you drive home from the store, put away the purchases, and get into homework, housework, or whatever is the task of the moment you forget the negotiation that took place in the store and IOUs seem to disappear in the cobwebs known as Mommy Brain - a project of not enough sleep, too many irons in the fire, concern for little one's healthy, happiness and the search of clean socks, oh and don't forget trying to be healthy, happy and married yourself.

So then you have a Family Meeting (ours was Monday night this week), and you say <insert the Parent voice here>, "We are going to crack down on chores and you won't get commission/allowance/whatever you want to call it, unless you do your chores." and then if you're really disillusioned as a parent you throw in there "no more IOUs...if you don't have the money in your wallet with you at the time you want something, then there's no credit." I didn't say last part, but what I did say was "I'm tired of picking up random socks, clothes, toys, reeds (Clarinet player), school papers, etc...so from now on, everything I pick up and put away for you is $0.25 an item...and socks/shoes or anything else that comes in pairs counts as 2 items!" [Side note: Thanks Joy for the idea! I love stealing your ideas, and my kids normally roll their eyes and silently curse your ideas which means it's a good idea!]

So now, I'm 2 days into the week and I'm challenged with ...how do I track this?  How do I break the failed parent issue of not remembering to pay up, of not tracking when they spend at the store, not collecting the IOUs and such.  How do I track each individual deduction when I have to pick up their stuff? What works for you?  What doesn't?  I really don't think I'm alone with this allowance challenge...I think other parents have the same issue, so how did you solve it or are you still swimming upstream and hoping when your child gets a real job you can finally climb out?  I have heard of phone apps and went out today and looked at a couple (Child Allowance Tracker and Virtual Piggy) but either of these seem to strike me as "oh yeah, this is what I need!".  The first, Child Allowance Tracker, seems very straight forward and would do what we need, but the reviews sound like there's some bugs in it and I like software/apps that work, bugs annoy me.  The second, Virtual Piggy, is designed it seemed for your child to shop online with your credit card based on the allowance they have earned, and so that's not what we need.  My kids don't shop online, HECK I don't shop online that much...they see it in the store and want it.  I'll keep looking for other apps, but for now it's a piece of paper beside the fridge (which I'm sure will go missing at some point or won't be with us at the store when their balance is needed).  What do you use? Do you use an app for your phone? If so, do you love it? hate it? Recommend it?

If I had time....

"If I had time..."

I wonder how many times a day I think or say that expression?  "If only I had time to scan in every piece of paper around my office and Go Green".  "If only I had time, I would bake cookies for when my kids get off the bus."  "If I had time, I would go spend a day in a soup kitchen helping to serve meals."

Why don't we make time?  Why don't we schedule a day to just do a buckle list activity?  Heck, why don't I actually make a bucket list instead of letting all these things bounce around inside my brain?

If I had time, I would blog more....

Unfinished projects

So how do you handle unfinished projects?  For example,

1) scrapbooking - I have major guilt over this at times.  My daughter has at least 3 FULL scrapbooks devoted to her life ages 0-6 yrs.  Then this little bouncy bundle named Jacob came along and Kalissa's albums are frozen in time, and I think Jacob has 2 pages done, only because a friend of ours made 2 pages from photos at the hospital and included them in his baby gift.

2) writing - I have started writing several short stories. I love writing but my mind has to be in the story and for a while there, it became stressful to think about writing, so I stopped.  I really would like to get back to it, but it just never happened.

3) Genealogy - I started while Kalissa was a baby and LOVED the stories I found. I loved learning about my family and the country at the time via their diaries and such I found.  I am not sure this is a project you ever finish because there's sooo much you can find. I loved it and I had several trips I wanted to take to see the area where my family is from, to visit libraries and get copies of records....but the stuff was boxed up for a move and has never been unboxed.

Those are the major personal projects...but then there's the other projects I have I want to do for my family, charities, etc....I have always felt I was a good organized person who kept busy and did a lot of things, but today I'm feeling overwhelmed and I know the tricks...make a list, set a timer, blah blah... But at the same time, I don't feel overwhelmed and lacking motivation on the things that I "have to get done" which is what the timers and such works for...I can get the coupons sorted, I can get the emails for GFH answered, etc.  It's the BIG things...like scrapbooking that I can't get motivated to do and I don't even know where to fit it in anymore.

I think I have made myself work alone too long :(

Task Lists

Someone told me at the funeral Saturday that I should write more blog entries.  I figured they need a break in their day to laugh at my goofy logic, but I really don't know that I have a lot worthwhile to say...but here goes...Lisa-Logic aka whatever pops into my head.

So task lists, to do list, HoneyDew List...whatever you want to call them, do you keep one?  I'm a FIRM believer in task lists, in fact, I find that I'm Completely and Totally lost if I don't have a list.  Right now, I'm frustrated because the task list software I found and was going to use only allows for one list.  I prefer to sort my task lists electronically by "Roles", such as "household", "school/church", "GFH", "someday".  The software I'm currently using (free app, because I'm cheap!) allows me to do tags so I can still sort them, but everything is still on one list.  Not sure I'm crazy about that, but I do like that I can have the app on my tablet, my phone and the website on my laptop and sync the entire list in all 3 places.  I'm all about syncing and being able to work with whatever tool aka laptop, phone or tablet I have handy at the time moment.

Anyway, so if you have a task list, how do you maintain it?  I'm looking for actual feedback here folks, in case you're wondering.  I know, I know, some of my blogs are just me talking and feedback is optional, but this is one where I'm really looking for ideas.  So here's my situation...I have a task list I'm working on completing...because I'm __wow, so many words come to mind that all fits depending on the day__ an active person with lots of irons in the fire...yeah, we'll go with that because it sounds better than a busy body who overcommits herself on a regular basic LOL...anyway, so I'm plugging away working on something, and POP! suddenly I think of something else I need to do.  (You mean you don't hear that Pop! sound?  Oh maybe it's just the alarm going off on the dryer then :P)  The task is simple, would only take maybe a second or two to do...such as recording that receipt you just found on the kitchen counter.  So do you go and do it immediately or do you ask it to your task list?  Serious question!  Which do you do?

Now, here's why I ask...simple task...would only take a second to do it.  But the problem is the "other" things that will go with it: Using the receipt, I pick it up from the counter, need to record it on the computer...let's say the laptop is already booted up, turned on and ready to go, because that saves a step or two....  I sit down at my laptop, since I work on facebook, it's most likely already open with the notifications bright red.  Say I'm even good and immediately open the receipt file to record it.  I didn't immediately check facebook first...say I'm good (stop laughing, I can be good!)..so I record the receipt.  It immediately adds the info, and updates the little automatic graph-thingy (technical term for you!) of our spending, and in this case analyzes our grocery spending.  So then I'm thinking about grocery and spending and the budget for next month, and that normally gets me thinking of other bills that are due.  Next thing I know I'm looking at our budget and end up log into the bank acct and paying a bill online because I see that it's coming up on it's due date, which was on the task list, just not as high up because it didn't HAVE to be done today.  All because my husband left a receipt laying on the counter where he brought milk last night.   So, do I add that simple task to the task list or do I just do the task immediately, because it's such a simple task? And if I do it immediately, how do I keep myself focused and not go off on a thousand other tasks, because of that one simple "only take a second" task?

Oh and by the way, because I went ahead and did that simple "just take a second" task, I started thinking about this and ended up writing this blog, and so now an hour later, I guess I'll go back to what I was doing before I found the receipt on the kitchen counter.

Survivor's Guilt?

My daughter put that name to it last night, "Survivor's Guilt". I don't know if it's the right word for it, but it makes sense as much as anything. I sit here typing this the morning after learning of the death of little McKenna. My heart was so heavy yesterday, I cried so many tears, and I hugged my kids close.

Yesterday, the entire day just stopped. I made supper, hugged the kids, helped make arrangements for friends traveling in for the funeral...but my life went on hold. No work related items were done at all.  At the end of the day, as I broke down letting what remaining tears I had pour out in a mess at our son's bedtime, I realized that I felt guilty for needing to do the day to day tasks that are ahead of me.  I feel guilty thinking "tomorrow I have to have supper ready early because of scouts den meeting" and "during the day, I need to finish up pictures and posting a client's items and start the new client stuff"...I felt guilty for these things because it's like nothing had happened.  I think of McKenna's parents and I know they are broken, they are in a holding pattern...one I remember clearly.  That time between learning of the death and having the funeral.  I recall with my dad's death, just the feeling that time was suspended..life was on hold and when you heard of things happening "out there...in the world" during that time, you felt disconnected and frustrated that they would dare carry on during this time.

I know, logically, guilt is a useless emotion in this situation. I know that others, even McKenna's parents understand that life will continue and appointments need to be made, and met. But yet, I hold my children and I feel so heartbroken for the parents. I feel blessed and guilty that I have another day with my children, that I can check on my children and see them sleeping peacefully in their beds. As Kalissa said it last night, "you feel guilty that your children survived, that you haven't faced that."  Dang she's smart! :)

Just needed to put the words on paper I guess today, not looking for any words of wisdom or sympathy as much as needing to express myself. And now, I should do the things I must do today...